So many things are getting under my skin lately. And it’s basically other parents that are driving me bonkers.
I don’t think Michigan was that much different than Georgia, I think I was just so preoccupied with things and people in my life that I didn’t have as much time or care to take notice as I do right here and now.
I often feel better after I’ve made a list and purged, then I can move on with life and spend some time looking at myself and figure out how I might be irking other people and try to work on improving. Indulge me as I unload:
- Dear parent/grandparent in the preschool car line. It is NOT ok to let children unbuckle themselves from their car seats just because you are in a parking lot and not on a highway. It is even more NOT OK to let them stand on your lap so their head and torso are sticking out the sunroof of your car–especially when you are start and stop driving for about 1/6 of a mile and on a downward incline. It’s also NOT OK to put/let them put the windows down and let them hang out the window while you are driving, even if they look “so cute” wielding a fake pirate sword at the rest of us.
- Dear parents at the fair, please wait in line like everyone else to let your child on the inflatables. Just because my children are standing nicely in line doesn’t mean you can walk up to them, literally butt in front of them and push them out of the way so that you can put your whiney child on the inflatable ladder. It suited you right that your little girl got to the top and cried that she didn’t want to go down the slide. It would serve you well to teach your children manners and about waiting in line and it would be even better if you would model it.
- Dear person with 3 children in a maroon Cadillac Escalade. I know it’s a lot of kids, a lot of car seats, and a lot of buckles, but I don’t think that is reason enough for you to zoom into the parking lot and park SIDEWAYS over TWO handicap spots. I have 4 children all in car seats and there are other people who have even more than me and we are all privy to obey the law. Besides, I parked in a handicap spot at the library once and a lady came and banged on my window and
harassedyelled at me. You’re playing with fire honey, be ready to face the consequences. One grumpy day I just might take a picture of your car & license plate and send it to the local police suggesting you get a ticket to learn your lesson.
- Dear good ol’ boy who stated “my child won’t be saying the Pledge of Allegiance and he won’t be doing no homework either” on curriculum night, I wonder why you are sending your offspring to school? My guess is free meals and childcare. Those types of declarations are to be made privately to a teacher, administrator, or better yet to someone in law enforcement.
- Dear mom who came to visit her child during school lunch, I highly doubt that letting your child play your iPhone while they ate their McDonald’s happy meal was a super special and memorable bonding moment. Not to mention against the school’s no cell phone policy. I can write up a list of questions or topics or even some fun games you could use to actually talk to and interact with your child if it’s really that hard for you to do.
- Dear HOA association lady, I don’t appreciate you sending us a letter about our needing to deal with the weeds in our yard. I would prefer that you come knock on my front door while you are doing your “rounds”–especially when I am in the front yard gardening or playing with my kids. I would also like to urge you, since it is not us who had 2 giant weeds growing at the curb but our very kind next door neighbors, to please get your plotlines figured out so you can send your scathing letters to the correct person. P.S.–the $500 check you deposited at closing but forgot to note on your records does not add up to the almost $900 you threatened to sick a collections agency on us to collect. Something about you and your business is slightly shady…
- Dear magazine cover mom, please cover up. I don’t appreciate your coming to the bus stop in a bustier and shorts that are shorter than my underwear. I have little girls and little boys who don’t need to be exposed to that, and you do too. If an opaque, knee-length shawl or wrap anonymously shows up at your door with a computer-printed note asking you to please wear this to cover up every time you step out your door, it probably came from me. I’ll admit, I’m too scared to talk to you about modesty to your face.
- Dear mom who loses her cool at her kids often and yells at them, please stop judging other parents. When your child falls down and scrapes their knee, it’s probably better for you to hug and console them, not lecture them on how you just told them not to run in the street. Some people might be offended that you practically wear your pajamas to the bus stop, maybe you could get up a few minutes earlier and put yourself (and an outfit) together. Don’t forget that you sent your child to school wearing spaghetti straps, which is clearly against the dress code policy. You aren’t exactly the most interactive parent either, you are on your iphone/computer how many times/a day? When your kids ask you to play with them, you should probably do it rather than say “I can’t, I have to ______” and make up some housework to do–there will come a day when your kids won’t ask them to play with you anymore so it would be in your best interest to drop everything and play with them while you still have the opportunity. You have a whole lot of work to do on yourself, so you have no right to judge other people on what they are doing wrong. Get it together.