We were at the next-to-last session of camp for this week–our last as a family this summer. She’s super emotional and sentimental. So I’m sure she’s feelin’ the angst of a good thing coming to an end. Oh, the goodbyes are going to be awful. There will be tears.
I often have Addi (6) and Taye (4.5) in and out of my lap, or both on there at the same time, but Liam hasn’t been a lap sitter since he learned to walk at 10 months. And lanky, leggy Ellison rarely climbs up for a cuddle these days. I guess it’s “not cool” anymore…thanks a LOT elementary school peers. <frown>
So when I realized who it was sitting in my lap tonight, tugging my hands and crossing my arms over her body in a bear hug, I sighed with deep pleasure at the realization.
Then I had one of those inner monologues that goes like this:
- “This time next year, there is NO WAY this one will be climbing in my lap. This moment is so precious…” <revel, revel, swoon>
- “I’ve got to blog about this.”
- “No, stop thinking about your blog. Enjoy this moment, it’s fleeting…she could climb back out at any moment!”
- “But how many other people have had this same moment and experience? Must. Blog. It.”
- “Wait. Will this be the last time she’ll ever sit on my lap?”
- “I just sniffed her hair…why did I do that? Will that make her climb out?”
- “Stop thinking so hard and trying to soak it all in and just soak it all in, darn it!”
- “Maybe I should try to grab my iPhone and snap a picture to remember this moment forever.”
- “No, don’t try for a picture…she’d get all weird and go back to her own seat.”
- “Oh, I’m in heaven. My (big) little girl! There’s no place I’d rather be than right here and right now.”
- (flash forward to a scene in my head of her in a wedding dress and handing her off…saying goodbye forever…)
- “Must. Live. In. The. Now.”
So there’s my little glimpse into a sweet, precious moment of ephemera for today. Such is the life of the person who lives mainly inside her own head, and every now and then burps up a few words in a blog post to let a little bit of what’s in there come out.